In a perfect world, a woman gets to choose what to do with her fetus and if she chooses to carry it to term, she is supported so she can parent that child. Babies should not be separated from their mothers/fathers. It does great harm to their developing brains and nervous systems. In a perfect world, there would be family preservation models in place to keep families together, avoid the trauma of relinquishment, and adoption would all but disappear. There is a reason so many women who consider abortion do not also go on to consider adoption. Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. It's an alternative to parenting.

Bottom line for me is (and I think you actually agree with this, given what you have written here): you can support a woman's right to choose to have an abortion without supporting her actual choice. Women should always have the right to terminate a pregnancy - they should always have a right to hold agency over their own bodies. But no woman should ever feel like her only options are abortion and giving away her baby to strangers. This is a false dilemma. Signed, an adoptee.